Are You Living Like Flatmates?

All beginnings are wonder we are told, and so it is with a new relationship.  Couples in love spend huge amounts of time getting to know each other by sharing intimate knowledge, plans, dreams and there recent history, and they feel that were somehow meant for each other and are…

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Making Marrige Work

I recently came across this summary of one of John Gottman’s books by Lynne Namka it is well worth the read. Dr. John Gottman and his wife, Dr.Julie Schwartz Gottman, are the world’s foremost researchers in understanding relationships. They invite couples to come into their research laboratory and talk and…

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Why Are Men So Bad at Relationships?

Both men and women can be equally bad at relationships. Women have been historically trained to nurture relationships while men have been socialised to ignore their feelings, such as with the “big boys don’t cry” mentality. However, much of this is changing. Psychologist and researcher John Gottman states that a…

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My Partner Will Not Come to Counselling

Sometimes I receive a phone call from a person who is frustrated by serious issues in their relationship, and further frustrated by the fact that their partner is unwilling to go to couples counselling to try to work through the relationship issues. Many of these callers contact me in a…

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The Best Gift for Valentine’s Day

Be willing to go beyond flowers, dinner and chocolates for Valentine’s day.   Give the gift of intimacy. It will last longer than a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers.   Here are 12 ways to deepen your intimacy.   1.     Make it emotionally safe to bring up…

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Choosing a Marriage Counsellor

I am a relationship counsellor. You may not realise that not all counsellors, therapists and psychologists are specifically trained in relationship counselling. General counselling and psychology training covers only one or two units related to working with couples. Specific training in couples, marriage or relationship counselling is necessary and important…

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Communication

On one of those wonderful autumnal days in Canberra I was having my lunch in an outdoor cafe, all the patrons where huddled together soaking up as much sun as possible before winters gloom.  A young couple were seated next to me the woman appeared distressed and spoke about the…

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Are we too late for relationship counselling?

The short answer is “no”.  However, studies have shown that the average persons waits two weeks before seeing a doctor regarding a medical problem and up to six years before they seek help for personal or relationship issue.  Even in the presents of a loved one struggling with a serious…

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